When someone wants to leave, open the door — Perhaps the most important lesson that can be learned about relationships is that they cannot be unilateral. If both parties are not interested in the survival of the union, it cannot succeed. Trying to pretend that one person can continually resuscitate the interest of someone other than themself is delusional…

But they do not define you — I am not going to dive into the pool of talking about narcissism and abuse and all those things. In my opinion, they seem to be overrepresented at the moment in the public discourse. Instead, I want to talk about you. …

Finding a path through dark times — There is a proverb that circulates with mixed attribution but often is credited to Ch’an Buddhism (Zen) that goes like this: The student asks the master about the difficulties of the fires of life. “How do we escape the heat?” he asks. The master responds simply, “Go right down to…

The Gift Of Being Left Behind — Occasionally on Medium I see articles that are rants about the fury of people who have been discarded without compassion. …

Our character is our responsibility — Two of the most helpful lines of thinking regarding overcoming the trials we all will face were presented to me when I was quite young. The thoughts were reinforced by quotes, both with anonymous attribution. “I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% what I…

Scrutinizing the lies we believe about ourselves — Going through a traumatic life transition is bewildering and, in the worst-case scenarios, it can spin us off our axis to the point that our internal compass loses its true north. This is a dangerous time to listen to someone who does not have your best interests in mind. The…

How I learned to stop worrying and love the imminent AI invasion — Earlier this year we had the great Diana Meresc scandal. Is she a robot or a contemplative being? A prolific hermit who does nothing but post great content on Medium? Kubrick’s Hal-like revenge on the writing community that didn’t appreciate Eyes Wide Shut? Enter Andy G.. We’ve all seen this…

Don’t deny reality, accept the full spectrum — There is a trite feeling when you’re at your lowest point and someone offers bumper sticker wisdom about things getting better. Their intent is clearly good as they are trying to provide optimism. The problem with such cliché statements is that they just don’t resonate. They are hollow. …

Mutually assured destruction is not inevitable — There are many ways to resolve conflict and perhaps the best is to avoid it whenever possible. That is the purpose of boundaries. They are designed to provide defensive protection against something coming your way. The other end of the spectrum on the conflict continuum is brinksmanship where both parties…